I called my mom last night just to say hi and see how she was doing. She kind of hemmed an hawed a bit and said she was okay. I asked if she was sick, and she said no, just a bit sad. I didn't think too much of it , as she has good days, and sad days, and we just continued our conversation. Later, I was watching TV with the wife and she asked how my conversation with mom went. I said okay, but she seemed sad. My wife then said, isn't today the day your dad passed away? You know, I never even thought of that.
Which brings me to the reason for my post. I purposely choose not to recognize or remember the days my loved ones passed away. To me, that gives importance to a horrible day in my life, and the last thing I want to do is give it any power or importance. Am I just being insensitive? I would rather remember birthdays, or anniversaries, those are happy days, not the worst day in their and our lives.
I don't like bringing this type of thing up, as people deal with loss and grief in their own way, and having to recall a loved ones' passing can be painful. I feel bad when my wife reminds me the such and such a date is the day her mom or dad passed. I must come off as a bit selfish to her. I have explained that I choose not to remember those days, and try to be supportive, but I can't help but feel like I am acting like a jerk.
What are your feelings on this, if you would like to comment?