Sorry, I can't take Credit for the Discovery. From Day One I thought it was Otto's Postings, but it was TJ and Johnnie who found the Proof. Man What A Clown!MrBlister wrote:Mitch.... great detective work....
That wud explain the Aqua Velva bottle in Bacons' pics.
And Bacons'/ Ottos' statement of NOT having an Ebay acct.
Otto... shame on ya !!!
Hear of a Good One Lately
- MITCH RAPP
- Posts: 4184
- Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2005 5:49 pm
- Location: Southern California
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
MITCH
"Buy more ammo!" - Johnnie Fain
"So far,So good...So What!" - Johnnie Samples
"Buy more ammo!" - Johnnie Fain
"So far,So good...So What!" - Johnnie Samples
- basser5
- Posts: 2965
- Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2010 2:05 pm
- Location: Illinois
-
vieu101
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Very funny Mitch
But I have a felling a moderator will come by and talk to u as he did me and poof my post was gone I guess they just throw us to the r rated forum

- orvet
- Gold Tier

- Posts: 19920
- Joined: Tue May 16, 2006 6:23 am
- Location: Willamette Valley, Oregon
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
You are correct. It would not be right to delete yours and let this one remain. Post deleted.
Guys,
We have an R Rated Forum for those who find humor in jokes with profanity &/or sexual content.
(No, replacing key letters with symbols does not make it OK in this forum). There are some members of AAPK who prefer not to read jokes with profanity or sexual content. We have provided you a place to tell such stories in the R Rated Forum. Please respect the sensibilities others and those of our younger members by keeping such posts in the R Rated Forum.
If you would like to be added to the R Rated forum, just send your request via PM to Bryan.
Thank you.
Guys,
We have an R Rated Forum for those who find humor in jokes with profanity &/or sexual content.
(No, replacing key letters with symbols does not make it OK in this forum). There are some members of AAPK who prefer not to read jokes with profanity or sexual content. We have provided you a place to tell such stories in the R Rated Forum. Please respect the sensibilities others and those of our younger members by keeping such posts in the R Rated Forum.
If you would like to be added to the R Rated forum, just send your request via PM to Bryan.
Thank you.
Dale
AAPK Administrator
Please visit my AAPK store: www.allaboutpocketknives.com/orvet
Job 13:15
"Buy more ammo!" - Johnnie Fain
“Evil is Powerless If The Good are Unafraid.” – Ronald Reagan
AAPK Administrator
Please visit my AAPK store: www.allaboutpocketknives.com/orvet
Job 13:15
"Buy more ammo!" - Johnnie Fain
“Evil is Powerless If The Good are Unafraid.” – Ronald Reagan
- jerryd6818
- Posts: 39458
- Joined: Sun Jan 04, 2009 5:23 am
- Location: Farther down the road.
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."
___________________________________________
Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
___________________________________________
What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
Drool.
___________________________________________
How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a sophomore course.
___________________________________________
How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?
The cow fell on him.
___________________________________________
Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods.
One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."
The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
___________________________________________
A University of Cincinnati football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.
He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.
Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.
___________________________________________
What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "
"Will the defendant please rise."
___________________________________________
If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?
The police officer.
___________________________________________
How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?
There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
___________________________________________
What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth.
___________________________________________
University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.
___________________________________________
How is the Indiana football team like an opossum?
They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
___________________________________________
Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?
He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
___________________________________________
How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
___________________________________________
What are the longest three years of a University of Kentucky football player’s life?
Freshman I, Freshman II, and Freshman III.
___________________________________________
Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
___________________________________________
What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
Drool.
___________________________________________
How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a sophomore course.
___________________________________________
How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?
The cow fell on him.
___________________________________________
Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods.
One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."
The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
___________________________________________
A University of Cincinnati football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.
He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.
Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.
___________________________________________
What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "
"Will the defendant please rise."
___________________________________________
If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?
The police officer.
___________________________________________
How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?
There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
___________________________________________
What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth.
___________________________________________
University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.
___________________________________________
How is the Indiana football team like an opossum?
They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
___________________________________________
Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?
He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
___________________________________________
How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
___________________________________________
What are the longest three years of a University of Kentucky football player’s life?
Freshman I, Freshman II, and Freshman III.
Forged on the anvil of discipline.
The Few. The Proud.
Jerry D.
This country has become more about sub-groups than about it's unity as a nation.
"The #72 pattern has got to be pretty close to the perfect knife."
--T.J. Murphy 2012
The Few. The Proud.
Jerry D.
This country has become more about sub-groups than about it's unity as a nation.
"The #72 pattern has got to be pretty close to the perfect knife."
--T.J. Murphy 2012
- treefarmer
- Gold Tier

- Posts: 15178
- Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:53 am
- Location: Florida Panhandle(LA-Lower Alabama)
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
A GUN IN THE HAND IS BETTER THAN A COP ON THE PHONE.
- tjmurphy
- Posts: 11129
- Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:41 pm
- Location: South of Cincinnati
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods.
One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."
The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"

One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."
The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
"There are none so blind as those that refuse to see"
God Bless America - Though I don't know why he would want to.
God Bless America - Though I don't know why he would want to.
- jerryd6818
- Posts: 39458
- Joined: Sun Jan 04, 2009 5:23 am
- Location: Farther down the road.
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Equality all around. Something to offend everyone and something for everyone to rise above dear hearts.
Notice how I slipped that Bill Cosby reference in there?
Forged on the anvil of discipline.
The Few. The Proud.
Jerry D.
This country has become more about sub-groups than about it's unity as a nation.
"The #72 pattern has got to be pretty close to the perfect knife."
--T.J. Murphy 2012
The Few. The Proud.
Jerry D.
This country has become more about sub-groups than about it's unity as a nation.
"The #72 pattern has got to be pretty close to the perfect knife."
--T.J. Murphy 2012
- tjmurphy
- Posts: 11129
- Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:41 pm
- Location: South of Cincinnati
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
"There are none so blind as those that refuse to see"
God Bless America - Though I don't know why he would want to.
God Bless America - Though I don't know why he would want to.
- jerryd6818
- Posts: 39458
- Joined: Sun Jan 04, 2009 5:23 am
- Location: Farther down the road.
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Crude but funny.
Forged on the anvil of discipline.
The Few. The Proud.
Jerry D.
This country has become more about sub-groups than about it's unity as a nation.
"The #72 pattern has got to be pretty close to the perfect knife."
--T.J. Murphy 2012
The Few. The Proud.
Jerry D.
This country has become more about sub-groups than about it's unity as a nation.
"The #72 pattern has got to be pretty close to the perfect knife."
--T.J. Murphy 2012
- johnnierotten
- Posts: 9303
- Joined: Sun Jul 23, 2006 3:29 am
- Location: Tucson AZ.
- Unk
- Gold Tier

- Posts: 2392
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2008 4:00 am
- Location: The Lone Star State
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Hey TJ.......now I know what my buddies mean when they say "You ain't got a hare on your butt."

Mike
If you don't watch the news, you are uninformed. If you watch the news, you are misinformed.
If you don't watch the news, you are uninformed. If you watch the news, you are misinformed.
- johnnierotten
- Posts: 9303
- Joined: Sun Jul 23, 2006 3:29 am
- Location: Tucson AZ.
- Cutty
- Posts: 3031
- Joined: Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:15 pm
- Location: N. Georgia
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol.............Dead
The second worm in cigarette smoke.....Dead
Third worm in chocolate syrup...........Dead
Fourth worm in good clean soil.....Alive
So the Minister asked the congregation, "What did you learn from this demonstration?"
Maxine, who was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said:
"As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms".
That pretty much ended the service!
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol.............Dead
The second worm in cigarette smoke.....Dead
Third worm in chocolate syrup...........Dead
Fourth worm in good clean soil.....Alive
So the Minister asked the congregation, "What did you learn from this demonstration?"
Maxine, who was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said:
"As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms".
That pretty much ended the service!
I dig half stops!!
"GOTTA DO WHATCHA GOTTA DO, SO THAT YOU GET TO DO, WHATCHA WANNA DO"
My Grandad.
God rest his soul.
Brian
"GOTTA DO WHATCHA GOTTA DO, SO THAT YOU GET TO DO, WHATCHA WANNA DO"
My Grandad.
God rest his soul.
Brian
- MITCH RAPP
- Posts: 4184
- Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2005 5:49 pm
- Location: Southern California
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
A nice gesture in church but a terrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
***
MITCH
"Buy more ammo!" - Johnnie Fain
"So far,So good...So What!" - Johnnie Samples
"Buy more ammo!" - Johnnie Fain
"So far,So good...So What!" - Johnnie Samples
- johnnierotten
- Posts: 9303
- Joined: Sun Jul 23, 2006 3:29 am
- Location: Tucson AZ.
- MITCH RAPP
- Posts: 4184
- Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2005 5:49 pm
- Location: Southern California
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a Bar. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?" The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!" The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?" Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!" The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?" The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina."
MITCH
"Buy more ammo!" - Johnnie Fain
"So far,So good...So What!" - Johnnie Samples
"Buy more ammo!" - Johnnie Fain
"So far,So good...So What!" - Johnnie Samples
-
Jigslinger
- Posts: 174
- Joined: Mon Oct 24, 2011 3:18 pm
- Location: Central WV
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
A fellow was driving down a country lane one fine afternoon and came upon a sign that read, "For Sale- Talking Dog". Out of curiosity he pulled up to the house and inquired about the dog. The owner brought the dog out and the guy asked the dog if he could really talk.
"Sure", replied the dog. "Well tell me about yourself", the man said. The dog began to talk telling about the time he was born and life in the litter. When they found out he could talk the government took him and made him a spy and he was able to listen in on high-level communications and do espionage work humans couldn't do. After that he came to the farm to live out his retirement.
"Wow", the man said, "that's incredible!" He turned to the owner and asked, "Why in the world would you want to sell this talking dog?"
The owner replied, "Because he's a liar. He never did ANY of that stuff!"
What do you get when you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac? Guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
"Sure", replied the dog. "Well tell me about yourself", the man said. The dog began to talk telling about the time he was born and life in the litter. When they found out he could talk the government took him and made him a spy and he was able to listen in on high-level communications and do espionage work humans couldn't do. After that he came to the farm to live out his retirement.
"Wow", the man said, "that's incredible!" He turned to the owner and asked, "Why in the world would you want to sell this talking dog?"
The owner replied, "Because he's a liar. He never did ANY of that stuff!"
What do you get when you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac? Guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
"A bad knife cuts one's finger instead of the stick."
-
Jigslinger
- Posts: 174
- Joined: Mon Oct 24, 2011 3:18 pm
- Location: Central WV
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
A Kentucky man making fun of West Virginians is a bit ironic, don't you think? Hee, Hee.tjmurphy wrote:Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods.
One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."
The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
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"A bad knife cuts one's finger instead of the stick."
- tjmurphy
- Posts: 11129
- Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:41 pm
- Location: South of Cincinnati
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Sorry bout that, but hit hain't got nuthin to do with a state! 
"There are none so blind as those that refuse to see"
God Bless America - Though I don't know why he would want to.
God Bless America - Though I don't know why he would want to.
-
Jigslinger
- Posts: 174
- Joined: Mon Oct 24, 2011 3:18 pm
- Location: Central WV
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
No problem TJ. We hillbillies are used to being the butt of jokes. Funny thing is we get hung with the stereotype and we certainly aren't the only state with the same issues that go along with Appalachia. I'm proud of my WV heritage. Some darn fine music and musicians have come from these here hills. Not to mention the fishing is outstanding!tjmurphy wrote:Sorry bout that, but hit hain't got nuthin to do with a state!
"A bad knife cuts one's finger instead of the stick."
- tjmurphy
- Posts: 11129
- Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:41 pm
- Location: South of Cincinnati
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
"Almost Heaven" right?
And you can also claim the term "Red Neck" How great is that?? 
"There are none so blind as those that refuse to see"
God Bless America - Though I don't know why he would want to.
God Bless America - Though I don't know why he would want to.
- Iron Hoarder
- Posts: 1808
- Joined: Sat Jan 16, 2010 3:03 pm
- Location: Chertsey, Surrey, UK
- Contact:
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Ya'll should meet the Massachusetts country folk. Funniest soundin' rednecks ya ever heard. 
I measure my collection by the ton.
Whoever dies with the most tools wins......Now accepting donations.
Whoever dies with the most tools wins......Now accepting donations.
-
griz1200
- Posts: 455
- Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 11:12 pm
- Location: New Vienna, Ohio
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
In the spirit of political correctness, the term "Hillbilly" is should be replaced by "Appalachian American". 
But me? I'm still just an old hillbilly.
Griz
But me? I'm still just an old hillbilly.
Griz