All About Pocket Knives

Came across this funny parody and thought I would share it with everyone. Enjoy
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JACKSONVILLE, FL — A married couple was seen wandering the mall Monday, when the owner of one cool knife stopped to take a gander at more cool knives on display in the window of the Stabology storefront. The owner of 73 purses then asked her companion why he needed more than one cool knife.

"Don't you already have a cool knife?" asked the woman who owned a batch of purses for each day of the week. "And didn't it cost a lot of money?" She added, somehow forgetting about her Vera Bradley satchel.

A look of confusion appeared on the face of the owner of one cool knife as he began to explain the functional differences between his cool knife at home and the cooler knife calling to him through the pane of glass like a watery siren.

"See, this one has a gut hook, handy for field dressing deer or elk, even wild boar," said the man who has never hunted deer, elk, or wild boar.

The owner of 28 trendy water bottles shrugged off the knife aficionado's reasoning and reminded him that they were trying to save up for porch furniture, unaware that her husband was calculating the dollar value of her closet full of shoes whilst praying for the patience of Job.

At publishing time, the owner of one cool knife had refrained from purchasing another cool knife, and was last seen pouting silently in his garage full of 37 unused power tools.

Hey, my wife and I have never been to Jacksonville, Florida!

Òscar that was funny. Just a few hours ago a friend had sent me the link to that same story. It’s amazing how “accurate” the parody on the Babylon Bee is.

I especially loved the part about the water bottles. Lol.

https://babylonbee.com/news/owner-of-73 ... cool-knife

Colonel26 wrote: ↑Tue Apr 04, 2023 9:54 am Òscar that was funny. Just a few hours ago a friend had sent me the link to that same story. It’s amazing how “accurate” the parody on the Babylon Bee is.

I especially loved the part about the water bottles. Lol.

https://babylonbee.com/news/owner-of-73 ... cool-knife

Colonel, The Babylon Bee is one of the best sites around for humor. It would be funnier if it wasn’t so true !
This reminded me so much of my ex. She had no problem spending my paycheck on crap while saving all of her money. I bought a $400 bottle of champagne and a $30 cigar the day my divorce was finalized. Whoever wrote that must have been married to her before or after I was.

Rofl!

Did you play the old Roy Clark song “Thank God and Greyhound She’s Gone”? While enjoying your stogie?

Colonel26 wrote: ↑Tue Apr 04, 2023 1:00 pm Rofl!

Did you play the old Roy Clark song “Thank God and Greyhound She’s Gone”? While enjoying your stogie?

Hadn’t thought of that at the time but it would have been VERY appropriate !!

orvet wrote: ↑Tue Apr 04, 2023 9:21 am Hey, my wife and I have never been to Jacksonville, Florida!

Me either, wonder what we're missing, maybe snow?

Can’t wait to post in the “which knife is best for carving on new porch furniture?” thread.

Parker

catspa wrote: ↑Tue Apr 04, 2023 2:29 pm Can’t wait to post in the “which knife is best for carving on new porch furniture?” thread.

Parker

catspa wrote: ↑Tue Apr 04, 2023 2:29 pm Can’t wait to post in the “which knife is best for carving on new porch furniture?” thread.

Parker

I guess that’s the advantage of having a wife like mine, who thinks all knives look alike. To be honest, before we married long ago I dragged her all over east and north Texas on Saturdays, looking at knives.

She knew I was an addict before she married me.

“You wanna go knife hunting with me Saturday?”

“Okay, sure”.

I don’t complain about shoes and purses, or her watching HGTV. She doesn’t complain about knives, guns, or watching baseball games. Fifty-two years this July.

Ken

Congratulations, Ken.

An early congratulations on the 52 years and congratulations on getting it right the first time.

Congratulations Ken. That’s awesome !

Good for you, Ken. Congratulations.

Parker

Thanks! It takes two to make it work. Don’t know how (or why) she puts up with me. She’s a gem and I don’t deserve her.

Ken

Mumbleypeg wrote: ↑Wed Apr 05, 2023 3:37 am Thanks! It takes two to make it work. Don’t know how (or why) she puts up with me. She’s a gem and I don’t deserve her.

Ken

Happy early anniversary Ken.

A wife that doesn’t mind, and even supports your pastime is a blessing that I’m very thankful for too.

You guys are extremely blessed. My ex had to control everything and everyone. No compromising on anything. After 15 years of putting up with her obsessive behavior I had enough. Compromise and working together are the key. I never had that in my marriage. You’re both very lucky.

Ken,

I too am blessed with a partner (Wife) that has no problem with my addiction to knives. She also has attended some knife shows with me, not that she likes knives, it's just that she wants to spend time with me. I will never know how she puts up with me but she has for 41 years and I couldn't have asked for a better partner.

I also attend her Sheep & Wool Festivals with her annually, mostly just to carry her purchases, but more to spend time with her, doing the things she likes as well.

It truly does take a lot of compromise and working together to make a lifelong commitment work. I don't know what I would do without her.

Tom

Ken pretty much said it for me, mine will say you need another knife but it's all in jest. We met in February 1967 married in December. I wouldn't trade her for a new Queen (knife that is) or a new hemp rope bad as I need them.

Only 73 purses? REALLY? ftd

no, no no.... her purses are Dooney & Bourke.
and she is ready to finally part with 30 of her favorite water bottles (not the yeti's)... but I do need a cool knife.