All About Pocket Knives

This is a true story . I met my now ex at 16 . We got married at 18 and had the first of 4 children at 20 . I was the sole bread earner and worked a lot to feed and house all of us . I never cared that I had old junky vehicles, or my clothes were a bit worn , or that my hard earned money all went to them . I was happy . I loved my family .
We married in 77 ‘ . In 2002 , it was my second oldest daughter that caught her mom having an affair. It was awful . I was devastated. I loved my wife . She said she would end it and begged my forgiveness. I was willing . But , things just weren’t right . I had suspicions, but she assured me I was imagining things . I see now how she really had me going in circles . I wanted to believe her , so I did .
I just couldn’t get this nagging feeling to stop and didn’t know what to do . I was going crazy . I decided to bug my home phone . 80 dollars from Radio Shack . The real truth became came quite clear . As soon as I left for work and the kids were off to school , either she would call him , or he would call her . It was awful to hear the person I loved and had loved for most of my life talk so coldly of me as they planned their day .
I would come home and listen to the tape , then go and listen to her lie about her day . It was a horrible experience to look into those eyes I had loved so much for so long , listening to her lie and deceive while pretending to still love me . She was a great actress . Even when I knew the truth , I still wanted to believe her . I started to confront her version of her day . Telling her where she went , what she had done . Their conversations changed to worry . How did I know what they doing ? I must have someone following them . They changed tactics and tried secret meeting places , but I still knew where they were . They weren’t smart enough to put together that what I knew came from their phone calls .
After a week or so of this circus , I got the ammunition I needed . They actually discussed robbing a bank , taking the two youngest daughters , 14 and 15 at the time and running off to Florida . Unbelievable. So , I gave her an ultimatum. I divorce you . I keep the house , the kids , my pension, and all assets. You leave . Or , I play this tape to anyone who will listen to it , including your mom .
She left . But after talking to her friends , she decided that the tape is inadmissible in court and I would have to give her half of everything. I told her true . The tape is inadmissible, but because you talked of committing a felony , and transporting minors across state lines , I can have the judge listen to it and you will never get unsupervised visitation. She signed off everything at the divorce hearing .
The thing is , had she actually listened to the tape , she would had realized she had exonerated herself at the end of it by saying she could not do that . I was bluffing .

Well sure give you credit for handling things so calmly. Can’t say as would’ve remained as calm as you seem to have been . Like you mention it had to be hard and hurt . It takes a lot to open up and share our personal stuff on a forum . Thank you and glad you’re here.

That's quite a story. Thanks for sharing. I sounds like you have successfully managed to put it all behind you. From the details you provided, I would say that she got exactly what she deserved.

I've been through all that going both ways. I feel your pain. It sucks to be us. 30 years later, I think I have it well in hand. I wish the same for you.

Sounds all too familiar. The recorder is a painfull experience.

Good job thanks for sharing your story. I wish you and yours all the best moving forward brother.

You had to have experienced one of the very worst blows life has to offer. That you dealt with it speaks loudly of your inner fortitude.
Peace, brother.

Sorry you had to go through such a thing. Hurts me just to read about it. I must say, Respect! You handled the situation much better than I would have. Very smart!

Thanks guys . Writing something down is therapeutic .

Bravo, kudos, congratulations, way to go, good for you on how you handled one of life's most painful experiences. For you to post this on an open forum likely means that you're still hurting badly, but have no fear, we all love and respect you here. I survived a similar experience when I was sure I wouldn't. As Jerry said it will take time to come to absolute terms with what happened, but once you have you're gonna really like the person you are now. In many situations like this the only real attraction between the parties involved is sex, and that attraction fades quickly once they get to know each other better. Remember, what goes around, comes around! May peace be with you brother!

Well said Mark!

Samb wrote: ↑Tue Dec 28, 2021 10:19 pmWell said Mark!

Thanks buddy, it was from the heart!

Don't feel too bad. My first wife died from eating poisonous mushrooms... come to think of it, my second wife died from eating poisonous mushrooms. My third wife died from a crushed skull... because she wouldn't eat the mushrooms! (Just kidding).

Truth be told, I won't ever get involved with a woman to the point where she is in control of my personal affairs. (The juice just isn't worth the squeeze).

It never ceases to amaze me that the old sociocultural perspectives still persist. (Men are little more than selfish animals that are worthless for any purpose, except as simple workhorses to feed, clothe and house the family), Women are viewed as pure as The Madonna and can do no wrong. What makes this especially pernicious is how the Feminist movement further degrades men, insisting that we are nothing more than barely tame lust-filled creatures that can not control themselves.

Live your life for yourself, go MGTOW! (Men Going Their Own Way). You don't need to be married to enjoy their company and sex isn't everything. While I am alone, I have the advantage of running my own life. You should too.

Life goes on.

One of my best buddies went through the same thing with one of my cousins. He's still one of my best friends, but I see her probably less than once a year, usually at family related events only. He and I talk, text or see each other weekly because of the friendship we had in our 20s and 30s. I can tell he still thinks about the good ol' days, but that dark blotch still haunts him. Of course we have lots of more recent, fond memories now too. Luckily he was able to come to our wedding reception because my cousin's family bailed due to Covid concerns.

Sorry to read you had a similar situation around the same time. You can forgive, eventually, but you cannot forget, unfortunately. You, and he, handled the situation maturely.

I don't repeat this often, but I was abused (punished) by a mother that,

1, eventually cheated on my father,
2. was hyper-religious (to the point of fanaticism),
3. punished to vent her anger rather than to correct the child.

This tends to make one wary of feminine motives. When I was 16, dad picked me up from High School with his head bleeding. (Mom cracked him in the back of the head with a thick-bottomed salt shaker). Trust me, I understand some of the dynamics of "domestic abuse". Women do so as much, and often more than men. (The men won't report it and the women frequently "fly under the radar" for decades).

It isn't pretty.

Hi there, I'm so sorry to hear about your experience with blackmail and infidelity in your marriage. It sounds like you went through a lot of emotional turmoil and stress. It's not uncommon for people to resort to unethical means such as blackmail in such situations, but it's important to understand the consequences of such actions. If you're ever in a situation where you feel like someone is trying to blackmail you, it's important to seek help from the authorities or a trusted source. In terms of online blackmail, there's a wealth of information available to help you understand the issue and how to protect yourself. Take care and stay strong.