All About Pocket Knives

Hello all:
Presented with tongue in cheek.

The True Story of SandBar Stag

I am hoping here to give all of you who are interested the real origins of the term sandbar stag. First let me assure you that it is a real thang, it is as real as any words in this letter.

As with any great work we must build a cast of characters: So as not to show favortiism they are in no particular order.

There is Kit (he was a great scout and most likely gave me this idea).
Then the star of the tale was Jimbo.(he was famous for a big knife, without him we would have no story)
The man who possibly caused the name was Davey.(he was a mountain man who killed stuff with odd names.)
Then there was the man Lone Wolf.(He just before the scout admitted there could be a Sandbar Stag.)

The other characters should not feel short changed by not having their names mentioned, they can imagine who they are except for Santa
(he killed Davey and Jimbo several years later down at "Fort bad place to be when the mexicans got mad". I think it was a skirmish over who was illegal.)

The place, an onion sand bar in a state that had rivers, sand, bears and a Volcanoe at one time.(the onion was later to become a Vidalia.)


The story started over an argument twixt some folks. They made an agreement to meet on this here sandbar and have it out. Well lots of stuff happened with some bigwigs getting hurt and Jimbo stepped in for one of them and promptly got plugged in various places. A bigwig stepped up to finish him off as he lay there on his back. He had no more bullets or something cause it gave Jimbo time to remember he had a big ole knife his bro had given him So he whupped it out took a big swing and darn near cut the head off the colonel, and with his follow thru. he castrated a big ole bear that had come out of the woods and was minding his own business bending over a berry bush eating berries.

Now who should come along but a future friend of Jimbo's named Davey. When Davey saw that big ole bar( he had referred to bears as bars since he kilt his first one when he was three.) moaning groaning and writhing about on the sand he felt so sorry for that old bar just knowing he could produce no further progeny that he put him out of his misery. With all the bars writhing about he had burrowed darn near grave depth in the sand so Davey covered him up and left him to decay.He then called 911 and got help for Jimbo and everyone else.

That old bar (he was a stag bar now cause Jimbo had castrated him) just lay there rotting, before his bones turned brittle under that damp sandbar sand the local volcano blew its top nearly off( thats why its no longer there) its molten lava flowing over that damp sand and bones eight feet down producing the proper temperature to stabilize them bones perfectly to be used as handles on cutlery.

Some years later some folks from a cutlery company were on an archelogical dig down on a river, on a sandbar looking probably for a big ole knife. Imagine their surprize when they were stopped to pick some berries and they stumbled over a bunch of bones. They gathered them all up and took them back to Tennessee.

After close examination they found the bones to be really good after they were cut and jigged to be used as handles on Knives. Not knowing what to call them they found probably this research paper and armed with all these facts they called them what they are Sand(from the sand they were in) Bar(from the bear that Davey put out of his misery and had called bars since he was three)Stag(caused by Jimbo's follow thru with that big ole knife castrating that bar eating berries making him into a stag bar.)

SandBar Stag, this my story and im sticking with it. I really feel bad about the first battle over illegals resulting in the deaths of some really good people,

The Teller,

A magical story . Thanks for sharing that with us. s-k

Another great avatar . I see a theme developing.

It all seems wonderfully plausible to me. Yeppers, I am positive that is how Sandbar Stag came to be.

W. B.

I've read between the lines, and We may have to get you a gig as a yarnspinner/storyteller.

Bill

I think Sandbar Stag originated with this vicious fellow. The Jackalope has been known to attack whilst your back is turned. They're so fast you rarely see them except the gapping wounds left behind.

I wasn't aware that the Jackalope thrived in the Pacific ocean where you hunt Hukk. Isn't he from the Canus lupus family?...maybe not.

Learn somethin' Knew here most ever doggone day.

Bill

Bill;
I think Hukk must have been referring to a distant relative of the common jackalope known as genus amphibius jackalopus.
W.B.

You're probably right Mossdancer. Thanks for clearin' that one up.

Most of the hunting around here is for Diamondbacks and Scorpions...for savory desert stew, of course.

Never seen any SandBar Stags...must be indieg...indgi...indiges...ah heck, they all must be in Tah-Nah-See.

Bill

Gents,

I have heard them called "Land Sharks" here in some areas of East 10 E C.
You can tell they were carnivorous by the wear on the posterior teeth/molars, as shown.
They were devils as hunters, study the horns as proof. That is how they held their prey while eating them alive.

Those who study occlusal morphology have recognized this in other genera as well. I am not sure if Unicorns were/are in the same family.

Rick
a.k.a
9ball

That sharp protrusion in front and under the tooth line could have been used to rip the skin to allow access to the liver. If so they could have been an off shoot of the specie johnsonalia.
W.B..

W.B.

That could be why the lambs kept quiet.

Their kind roam all over North America and the Far East. I have the Ag Department over at UT, Tennessee Wildlife(TWRA) and OJ's defense team working on this.
They have the fossil now and great great great great step-granddaddy Danny Boone's powerhorn map. I hope to solve this without a mental, I mean metal detector within a few weeks.

All this CSI stuff cannot be done in a two hour special.
Better grab your boots, it may get deep.

Rick

To all who may be concerned;
It is my belief that this is way beyond any unravelleling that could be accomplished by the aforementioned notables. I have therefore taken it upon myself to draft a letter to Mulder and Scully. I am just positive that they will create a W/Y file and investigate.

Would like to continue with this case but my weekly poker clatch beckons. Fox or Dana will undoubtably contact us soon.
W.B.

Now I'm not trying to cause an uproar here but there has been some slight of hand by 9ball. In an effort to clearly throw us off the trail of this elusive creature he has introduced evidence that would by all accounts not be seen in any high court in Yugoslovia ...There has also been telephone calls in the middle of the night from someone who sounds like Mulder that 9ball may indeed be the one and only "Cancer Man"...


To get back on the path of truth & liberty I have smuggled the following picture out of the archives to let you behold who is behind this great mystery...

Sunburst;
That might have been the big fellow on that bar, easily could have been mistaken for a bar by old Jim. Accounts have it that his eye sight was none to good otherwise he would have backdoored it when he saw santas army. You need to find out if this creature had a propensity for bending over berry bushes.
Nearly forgot, I have heard they only have mechanical lien courts in Carslovia since the embargo on protected species. As an investigator of the truth, you sometimes have to wear apparel not unlike a bomb squad member to protect yourself from disbelievers.
W.B


Edited.

Mossdancer,

Are you telling us that the jury is still out on the elusive SandBar being???

Canis Lupus

Lobo;
No. im just saying there could have been alternate conclusions made using all of the presented factually investigated evidence.

What must an honest person do, heck even Darrels other brother would have known that.
W.B.

Lobo;
No, I am just saying that with all of the truthful evidence that has been presented, Varying conclusions could be reached.

I just dont understand how with all this information there could be any reason for concluding anything other than the obvious.

Heck, even Darrels other brother would have known a Rattler from a sidewinder which would certainly dress up a savory stew.
W.B.

sniff...sniff,

I feel that I may be withering, under the obvious personal assault levied at my choice of ingredients, my cooking, and...well, everything else you mentioned.
I'm going out hunting now...hmmmmm, I wonder what aisle the SandBar stag is on? Probably by the frozen Jackalope.

Later...sniff, sniff.

bill

Bill;
Im darn near certain that were you to go down to loosiana and do some excavation work on that sand place where Jimbo nutted that bar that you could find some petrified Sandbar Stag oysters that you could grind up and use for seasoning to make that savory a bit more palatable.
W.B.

No relation to an old tequila joint called the "Stag Sand Bar" somewhere near the beach in Baja ????

By the way, from what I've heard nobody makes a Scorpion stew better than El Lobo...

Luis

Ok,
I'm back from the hunt. I found the frozen Jackalope on aisle #3...but no SandBar Stag anywhere. This is gonna be more difficult than I thought.

Because it's you guys, I'm going to show you 2 of the ingredients in my renowned Desert Stew.

First, the sauce.....then the very rare UV Scorpion (who is purported to be a distant relative to the SandBar scorpion, who is purported to be related to the SandBar Bowie) seen by only a very, very, few...usually after an evening at the legendary "Stag Sand BAR."

BiLL

Luis;
This definitly calls for some further sluething.But, as we all know the truth shall overcome. I understand that at aforementioned place a shooter was a very large mason fruit jar filled with Tequila with a rattle snake in the bottom. You would only be allowed 7 per day. Naw, you cant trust people who pickle the scorpion first. It makes the stew way to bland.
In answer to your question. Yes I am certain there is a relationship twixt the two. Especially after an allotment of shooters.
W.B.

Hey, now I'm hungry and will have to prepare something to eat, here's getting some stuff ready for use...

Luis

All;
Hunger thrives here also.Just putting together a pot of the Sandbar searchers staple. Miniature white limas with pork butt. To be served over corn bread slathered with butter. Maybe with a few small peppers to fire up the savage beast within.
W.B.

Who Ever;
As it appears that the jury is still out on this case. I have made the momentous decicion to send the question to a couple of really fine forensic law enforcement scientists. I am sure they will assemble other notables in their field to investigate and report back at some future date with their findings. To head up this team I have selected from France the famous Inspector Cluesow and from the Southeastern U.S. that famous Sheriff Barney Fife. You may make other appointments as you wish.
Adieu;
W.B.