Re: It's In The Mail
Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 3:47 pm
Well, THAT makes it all clear!orvet wrote:Paladin wrote: A question about this pattern for you deep thinkers. Why in the world would a fingernail file be the choice for a secondary blade? Why not a pen blade in the same size?
Ray
So that the "dark, salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the murky depths of
the oceans" could clean the barnacles from under their fingernails! †
At least I think that was the reason.
† IN THE BEGINNING...
was the WORD, and the WORD was GOD -- and all else was darkness
and void, without form. So, GOD created the Heavens and the Earth.
He created the sun, and the moon, and the stars, so that the light might
pierce the darkness. The earth GOD divided between the land and the
sea and these HE filled with many assorted creatures.
And the dark, salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the murky depths of
the oceans, GOD called sailors, and he dressed them accordingly, with
trousers that looked like bells at the bottom, with cute little flaps on
their shirts to hide the hickeys on their necks. He also gave them long
sideburns and shaggy looking beards. GOD nicknamed them "squids" and
banished them to a lifetime at sea so the normal folks would not have to
associate with them. To further identify these unloved creatures, HE
called them petty and commodore instead of titles worthy of red-blooded
men.
And the flighty creatures of the land, GOD called soldiers. And with a
twinkle in HIS eye, and a sense of humor only HE could have, GOD made
their trousers too short, and hats too large, and gave them pockets to warm
their hands. And to adorn their uniforms, GOD gave them badges in
quantities only a dime store owner could appreciate. And HE gave them
emblems and crests...and all sorts of shiny things that glittered...and
devices that dangled. (When you are GOD, you tend to get carried away --
in a big way.)
On the 5th day, HE thought about creating some air creatures for which
he designed a Greyhound bus driver's uniform especially for flyboys, but
HE discarded the idea during the first week, and it was not until years
later that some apostles "resurrected" the idea and established what we
now know as the wild blue yonder wonders.
And on the 7th day, as you know, GOD rested. and on the 8th day at 0500,
GOD looked down upon the earth and was not happy. GOD was not happy!!!
So, he thought about his labors, and in HIS infinite wisdom, GOD created
a divine creature, and this HE called Marine. And these Marines, who GOD
had created in HIS own image, were to be of the air and of the land and
of the sea. And these HE gave many wonderful uniforms. Some were green,
some were blue with red trim, and in the early days some were even a
beautiful tan.
He gave them practical fighting uniforms, so that they could wage war
against the forces of Satan and Evil.
He gave them service uniforms for their daily work and training, that
they might be sharp and ready...And HE gave them evening dress
uniforms...Sharp, stylish, handsome things, so they might promenade with
their ladies on a Saturday night, and impress the crap out outta
everybody!!! HE even gave them swords so that people who were not
impressed could be dealt with.
And at the end of the 8th day, GOD looked down upon the earth and saw
that it was good. But was GOD happy? NO!!! GOD was still not happy!!!
Because in the course of his labors, GOD had forgotten one thing...HE
did not have a Marine uniform HIMSELF!!! But, HE thought about it, and
thought about it and finally satisfied himself in knowing that...
Well, not everybody can be a Marine!!!
(Biblical citations supplied by Lt Col Beil, USMC,Retired.)
Ray
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