The 12 commandments of growing old
- jerryd6818
- Gold Tier
- Posts: 39165
- Joined: Sun Jan 04, 2009 5:23 am
- Location: The middle of the top of a bastion of Liberalism.
The 12 commandments of growing old
#1 - Talk to yourself, because there are times you need expert advice.
#2 - Consider "in style" to be the clothes that still fit.
#3 - You don't need anger management, you just need people to stop pissing you off.
#4 - Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.
#5 - The biggest lie you tell yourself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."
#6 - These days, "on time" is when you get there.
#7 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it sure does muffle the sound.
#8 - Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?
#9 - Lately, you've noticed people your age look so much older than you.
#10 - You thought growing old would take a lot longer.
#11 - Aging sure has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up.
#12 - You still haven't learned to act your age and hope you never will.
And one more:
So you know you're growing old when "one for the road" means taking a pee before you leave
#2 - Consider "in style" to be the clothes that still fit.
#3 - You don't need anger management, you just need people to stop pissing you off.
#4 - Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.
#5 - The biggest lie you tell yourself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."
#6 - These days, "on time" is when you get there.
#7 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it sure does muffle the sound.
#8 - Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?
#9 - Lately, you've noticed people your age look so much older than you.
#10 - You thought growing old would take a lot longer.
#11 - Aging sure has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up.
#12 - You still haven't learned to act your age and hope you never will.
And one more:
So you know you're growing old when "one for the road" means taking a pee before you leave
Forged on the anvil of discipline.
The Few. The Proud.
Jerry D.
This country has become more about sub-groups than about it's unity as a nation.
"The #72 pattern has got to be pretty close to the perfect knife."
--T.J. Murphy 2012
The Few. The Proud.
Jerry D.
This country has become more about sub-groups than about it's unity as a nation.
"The #72 pattern has got to be pretty close to the perfect knife."
--T.J. Murphy 2012
- tongueriver
- Posts: 6834
- Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 8:01 pm
Re: The 12 commandments of growing old
A lot of truth there. I usually don't save them, but these were late-breaking today.
Re: The 12 commandments of growing old
Good ones Jerry!
Bob
Bob
- tongueriver
- Posts: 6834
- Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 8:01 pm
Re: The 12 commandments of growing old
I actually did 'celebrate' a birthday recently.
- TwoFlowersLuggage
- Posts: 3113
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Re: The 12 commandments of growing old
"The Luggage had a straightforward way of dealing with things between it and its intended destination: it ignored them." -Terry Pratchett
Re: The 12 commandments of growing old
Unfortunately more of those than I care to admit apply to me.
“There are things in the old Book which I may not be able to explain, but I fully accept it as the infallible word of God, and receive its teachings as inspired by the Holy Spirit.”
Robert E. Lee
Robert E. Lee
Re: The 12 commandments of growing old
I feel like I am being watched and listened too reading this Jerry
Will
Will
- TwoFlowersLuggage
- Posts: 3113
- Joined: Sun Nov 26, 2017 8:18 pm
- Location: Stuck in traffic on a highway in Southern California
Re: The 12 commandments of growing old
"The Luggage had a straightforward way of dealing with things between it and its intended destination: it ignored them." -Terry Pratchett
Re: The 12 commandments of growing old
Tom
AAPK Administrator
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
AAPK Administrator
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.