Hear of a Good One Lately

jerryd6818 · Post by **jerryd6818** » Mon Mar 15, 2021 2:07 pm

edge213 wrote: ↑Mon Mar 15, 2021 1:56 pm Jerry, the 2020 math problem sounds like a Joe Biden speech.

It does at that.

Mumbleypeg · Post by **Mumbleypeg** » Mon Mar 15, 2021 2:07 pm

edge213 wrote: ↑Mon Mar 15, 2021 1:56 pm Jerry, the 2020 math problem sounds like a Joe Biden speech.

Actually, it’s more coherent than a Joe Biden speech.

Ken

orvet · Post by **orvet** » Mon Mar 15, 2021 2:23 pm

Mumbleypeg wrote: ↑Mon Mar 15, 2021 2:07 pm
edge213 wrote: ↑Mon Mar 15, 2021 1:56 pm Jerry, the 2020 math problem sounds like a Joe Biden speech.
Actually, it’s more coherent than a Joe Biden speech.

Ken

I agree Ken, I think it is because it was missing the key phrase... "You know the thing."

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Mon Mar 15, 2021 2:43 pm

mrwatch wrote: ↑Mon Mar 15, 2021 1:00 pm why did the turtle cross the road? to get to the Shell Station.

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Mon Mar 15, 2021 2:44 pm

DM11 wrote: ↑Mon Mar 15, 2021 1:20 pm I dream of a day when a chicken can cross the road without it's intentions being questioned.

Unk · Post by **Unk** » Mon Mar 15, 2021 2:48 pm

A local man was recently shot 200 times with an upholstery gun.

Doctors say he is now fully recovered.

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Mon Mar 15, 2021 3:35 pm

Unk wrote: ↑Mon Mar 15, 2021 2:48 pm A local man was recently shot 200 times with an upholstery gun.

Doctors say he is now fully recovered.

Mumbleypeg · Post by **Mumbleypeg** » Mon Mar 15, 2021 3:40 pm

Unk wrote: ↑Mon Mar 15, 2021 2:48 pm A local man was recently shot 200 times with an upholstery gun.

Doctors say he is now fully recovered.

Ken

orvet · Post by **orvet** » Mon Mar 15, 2021 3:52 pm

Unk wrote: ↑Mon Mar 15, 2021 2:48 pm A local man was recently shot 200 times with an upholstery gun.

Doctors say he is now fully recovered.

I'm sure he had a fine finish as long as he was not overstuffed!.

Unk · Post by **Unk** » Tue Mar 16, 2021 3:41 pm

orvet wrote: ↑Mon Mar 15, 2021 3:52 pm
Unk wrote: ↑Mon Mar 15, 2021 2:48 pm A local man was recently shot 200 times with an upholstery gun.

Doctors say he is now fully recovered.
I'm sure he had a fine finish as long as he was not overstuffed!.

Mumbleypeg · Post by **Mumbleypeg** » Wed Mar 17, 2021 2:17 pm

I wasn’t sure whether to post this here, or in the “Mostly True Stories”.

Ken

jerryd6818 · Post by **jerryd6818** » Wed Mar 17, 2021 3:06 pm

That's true but I tell Linnea there's just more of me to love.

Stanwade · Post by **Stanwade** » Fri Mar 19, 2021 1:35 pm

https://youtu.be/NgyEWzq0eQ8

This is what today's society is being brain washed to believe, a bunch of "the sky is falling" chicken littles... Funny sketch though, to bad it was prophetic..

jerryd6818 · Post by **jerryd6818** » Fri Mar 19, 2021 2:31 pm

Stanwade wrote: ↑Fri Mar 19, 2021 1:35 pm

This is what today's society is being brain washed to believe, a bunch of "the sky is falling" chicken littles... Funny sketch though, to bad it was prophetic..

Stanwade · Post by **Stanwade** » Fri Mar 19, 2021 3:39 pm

jerryd6818 wrote: ↑Fri Mar 19, 2021 2:31 pm
Stanwade wrote: ↑Fri Mar 19, 2021 1:35 pm

This is what today's society is being brain washed to believe, a bunch of "the sky is falling" chicken littles... Funny sketch though, to bad it was prophetic..

Thanks, Jerry

jerryd6818 · Post by **jerryd6818** » Fri Mar 19, 2021 5:20 pm

Stanwade wrote: ↑Fri Mar 19, 2021 3:39 pm
Thanks, Jerry

Makes me feel usefull.

Stanwade · Post by **Stanwade** » Fri Mar 19, 2021 5:47 pm

jerryd6818 wrote: ↑Fri Mar 19, 2021 5:20 pm
Stanwade wrote: ↑Fri Mar 19, 2021 3:39 pm
Thanks, Jerry

Makes me feel usefull.

I still can't figure out how to do that way from my

fergusontd · Post by **fergusontd** » Fri Mar 19, 2021 6:13 pm

So why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the the grave of his long departed father who voted absentee for Biden! ftd

jmh58 · Post by **jmh58** » Fri Mar 19, 2021 6:16 pm

fergusontd wrote: ↑Fri Mar 19, 2021 6:13 pm So why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the the grave of his long departed father who voted absentee for Biden! ftd

John

Meridian_Mike · Post by **Meridian_Mike** » Fri Mar 19, 2021 7:45 pm

fergusontd wrote: ↑Fri Mar 19, 2021 6:13 pm So why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the the grave of his long departed father who voted absentee for Biden! ftd

Paladin · Post by **Paladin** » Mon May 03, 2021 9:08 pm

I just read this one a while ago and thought it was a dandy.
With all due respects to our resident Leathernecks,,,, Semper Fi.....

Subject: Female Quarters on US Navy Ships

Department of the US Navy is now assigning females to quarters in a separate private "OFF LIMITS" area on all aircraft carriers.

While addressing all personnel at Pearl Harbor, CINCPAC advised, "Female sleeping quarters will be "out-of-bounds" for all males.

Anyone caught breaking this rule will be fined $50 the first time." And the Admiral continued, "Anyone caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $150. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $500. Are there any questions?"

At this point, a US Marine from the security detail assigned to a ship stood up in the crowd and inquired: "How much for a season pass?"

God bless the Marine Corps,,,,

Ray

OLDE CUTLER · Post by **OLDE CUTLER** » Wed Jun 09, 2021 12:42 am

Here is one you can tell the grandkids:
A contractor/handyman has a busy day ahead with 3 jobs to work. So he gets an early start to go to the building center to get everything he needs. He jumps in the pickup along with his faithful sidekick, his dog. They get to the building center and get a cart, but almost immediately there is a problem. He says to the dog, "darn it I cant remember all the stuff I need to get". The dog replies "roof, roof", and the guy remembers that he needs shingles to fix the roof at the Jones place. Once he gets that the dog goes "bark, bark", and he remembers that he needs to get several bags of landscaping bark for over at the Smith place. Then the dog goes "ruff, ruff", and he remembers that he needs some coarse sandpaper to finish some wood over at the Johnson job. They get all the stuff and go to the checkout to pay, and once there the guy searches his empty pockets and turns to the dog and says "stupid dog, you forgot the credit card".

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Thu Jun 17, 2021 3:58 pm

I learned today that if you turn a canoe over you can wear it as a hat. Because when you turn it over it's cap_sized.

OLDE CUTLER · Post by **OLDE CUTLER** » Thu Jun 17, 2021 5:26 pm

doglegg wrote: ↑Thu Jun 17, 2021 3:58 pm I learned today that if you turn a canoe over you can wear it as a hat. Because when you turn it over it's cap_sized.

lol, that is a good one doglegg!

Ridgegrass · Post by **Ridgegrass** » Sat Jun 19, 2021 4:42 pm

A guy is returning to his hometown after moving away 20 years ago. Flipping through his wallet for some old numbers he finds a shoe repair ticket for shoes he failed to retrieve when he left town. Getting out of his car on Main St. he sees the old shoe repair shop is still there. Smiling at the possibilities he walks in and the old shoemaker greets him. He hands the guy his ticket and the shoemaker disappears into the back of the shop. A couple minutes later he returns and says," Be ready Tuesday".

J.O'.

Sound familiar?

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