Hear of a Good One Lately

mrwatch · Post by **mrwatch** » Wed Sep 25, 2019 10:38 am

Default Re: Everyday Humor (Viewer Discretion Advised)
Blond lady being followed by a officer. As she approached a intersection she put her arm out and up for a right turn and shortly after put her arm straight out for a left turn. Then at the last moment she made circle motions and went straight ahead. The officer pulled her over and ask about the signals and she replied, well i was going to turn right then i decided to turn left. He said fine but the last signal you made i don't understand what was that all about. Being a third grade teacher she said, i erased the first two signals and went straight ahead. Yes we have blondes in our family too.

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Thu Sep 26, 2019 4:48 pm

Very good Mr. Watch.

Do you know why I don't like Russian dolls?...…

they are always into themselves.

btrwtr · Post by **btrwtr** » Thu Sep 26, 2019 11:49 pm

doglegg wrote:A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3.
He says 'uno, dos...'Poof. He disappeared without a tres.

Took me a while but that made me laugh!

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Wed Oct 02, 2019 2:21 am

Did you hear about the guy stealing tires off of police cars?

They are working tirelessly to catch him!

fergusontd · Post by **fergusontd** » Wed Oct 02, 2019 3:06 am

l bet he had to tread lightly, being so tired. I doubt the police will spare him any punishment. ftd

Waukonda · Post by **Waukonda** » Fri Oct 11, 2019 8:25 pm

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Fri Oct 11, 2019 11:14 pm

fergusontd wrote: ↑Wed Oct 02, 2019 3:06 am l bet he had to tread lightly, being so tired. I doubt the police will spare him any punishment. ftd

It only gets better (or worse)!!!

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Fri Oct 11, 2019 11:14 pm

Waukonda wrote: ↑Fri Oct 11, 2019 8:25 pm

Must be a good one, I've already shared it.

treefarmer · Post by **treefarmer** » Fri Oct 11, 2019 11:39 pm

Waukonda wrote: ↑Fri Oct 11, 2019 8:25 pm

agreed, that is funny!

Treefarmer

New_Windsor_NY · Post by **New_Windsor_NY** » Sat Oct 12, 2019 1:50 am

How Long is a Chinaman.

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Sat Oct 12, 2019 2:06 am

New_Windsor_NY wrote: ↑Sat Oct 12, 2019 1:50 am How Long is a Chinaman.

New_Windsor_NY · Post by **New_Windsor_NY** » Sat Oct 12, 2019 2:24 am

doglegg wrote: ↑Sat Oct 12, 2019 2:06 am
New_Windsor_NY wrote: ↑Sat Oct 12, 2019 1:50 am How Long is a Chinaman.

This is easy Floyd.
How Long is a Chinaman.

Old Folder · Post by **Old Folder** » Sat Oct 12, 2019 5:07 am

Unfortunately, there is a lot of truth to this.

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Sat Oct 12, 2019 12:00 pm

Skip, you got me on that one.
I guess he is.

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Sat Oct 12, 2019 12:01 pm

Old Folder wrote: ↑Sat Oct 12, 2019 5:07 am Unfortunately, there is a lot of truth to this.

img030.jpg

Almost too true to be funny.

New_Windsor_NY · Post by **New_Windsor_NY** » Sat Oct 12, 2019 2:17 pm

doglegg wrote: ↑Sat Oct 12, 2019 12:00 pm Skip, you got me on that one.
I guess he is.

You got it! (How Long is his name)

Waukonda · Post by **Waukonda** » Sat Oct 12, 2019 8:14 pm

I was texting and driving and rear ended a car at a stoplight. The driver, who happened to be a dwarf, got out of the car shaking his fist and yelled out, "I'm not happy!"
I replied, "well, okay then, which one are you?"

treefarmer · Post by **treefarmer** » Sat Oct 12, 2019 8:30 pm

Ike,
That is also funny! I need something to cheer me up, sittin’ here watchin’ Clemson beat FSU like a drum. At this rate the score will be 84-0 at the end.
Treefarmer

Quick Steel · Post by **Quick Steel** » Sun Oct 13, 2019 12:31 am

Ike, That was a big LOL for me.

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Mon Oct 14, 2019 8:09 pm

We all know why 6 was afraid of 7.
Because 7 8 9.
But do you know why 7 8 9?
Because 8 heard you were to eat 3 squared meals a day.

Waukonda · Post by **Waukonda** » Mon Oct 14, 2019 8:41 pm

Eustace · Post by **Eustace** » Wed Oct 16, 2019 7:25 pm

- What are your plans for the autumn?
- I'll drink brandy.
- Excuse me, but you said the same about your plans for the summer?"
- I don't want to talk to someone who doesn't understand the subtle semantic difference between the enchantment of a challenging summer drunkenness and the existentialism of a depressing autumn binge.

Eustace · Post by **Eustace** » Wed Oct 16, 2019 8:20 pm

When invented whiskey, Irish disappear for three centuries from history:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_ ... iscoveries

bighomer · Post by **bighomer** » Thu Oct 17, 2019 12:39 pm

Good stuff Eustace

.

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Sat Oct 19, 2019 5:34 pm

Apple pie costs $2.00 in Jamaica, it cost $2.50 in the Bahamas.

These are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.

All About Pocket Knives

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